So, here’s the deal—if you’ve spent most of your life as an elite athlete, you’re probably all too familiar with the concept of permission. Permission to train, permission to compete, permission to rest (or more likely, not rest). Hell, even permission to breathe felt like it had to be granted by a coach, a trainer, or some other authority figure. Your entire existence was dictated by someone else’s schedule, someone else’s rules. And now that you’re out of that world, you might find yourself waiting for that green light to do just about anything. But here’s the reality check—you’re an adult now, and it’s time to give yourself permission. You’re the one in charge. So why the hell are you still looking around for someone else to tell you it’s okay to live your life?
Let’s break it down. As athletes, we were conditioned to believe that our value came from external validation—coaches, teammates, fans, even the media. We were praised for following orders, sticking to the plan, and pushing through pain. But now, without a coach barking orders or a training plan laid out for us, we’re left wondering, "What now?" The answer is simple: Whatever the hell you want. But getting there requires a shift in mindset—a shift from seeking permission to taking ownership.
Step 1: Recognize Your Conditioning
First off, acknowledge that this need for permission didn’t come out of nowhere. It was drilled into you from day one. Understand that it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to change it. Start by noticing when you’re hesitating, waiting for someone else to tell you it’s okay to take a step forward. Whether it’s a career move, a personal goal, or even just taking a damn day off, recognize when you’re stuck in the “ask for permission” loop.
Step 2: Set Your Own Rules
Newsflash: You’re the coach now. The beauty of being an adult—especially one who’s no longer tied to the rigid structure of elite sports—is that you get to set the rules. Want to start a new career? Go for it. Want to take a day to yourself without feeling guilty? Do it. The only person you need to answer to is you. Write down your own goals, your own priorities, and the steps you want to take. And here’s the kicker: hold yourself accountable. Not in the punishing, grueling way you were held accountable as an athlete, but in a way that serves your well-being.
Step 3: Embrace the Fear
Here’s the thing—breaking free from a lifetime of seeking permission is terrifying. You’ve been conditioned to believe that you need someone else’s approval to be successful, happy, or even worthy. So yeah, it’s going to be scary when you start doing things on your terms. But guess what? Fear is not a stop sign; it’s a green light. It’s a signal that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, and that’s where growth happens. Embrace that fear, and use it as fuel to keep moving forward. Remember, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s taking action despite it.
Step 4: Surround Yourself with the Right People
This one’s crucial. While you’re working on giving yourself permission, it’s important to have a support system that encourages you rather than holding you back. Ditch the naysayers and surround yourself with people who lift you up, who remind you of your power, and who push you to take ownership of your life. These are the people who won’t just give you permission but will celebrate your decisions, no matter how unconventional they might be.
Step 5: Practice, Practice, Practice
You didn’t become an elite athlete overnight; it took years of practice, dedication, and a hell of a lot of mistakes. The same goes for learning to give yourself permission. It’s not going to happen overnight, and you’re going to stumble along the way. But the more you practice, the easier it gets. Start small—maybe it’s giving yourself permission to take a break without guilt or to speak up in a meeting without second-guessing yourself. With each step, you’ll build confidence in your ability to take control of your life.
You’re the Boss Now
At the end of the day, the only person who needs to give you permission to live your life is you. The days of waiting for someone else to say it’s okay are over. You’ve earned the right to call the shots, and it’s about damn time you started doing it. So stop waiting, start doing, and remember—you’re not just an athlete anymore. You’re a whole person with the power to shape your own destiny. Now go out there and own it.
Morgan
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